Q d'etat?

In the city of Washington, D.C. with its wholesale self absorption and vapid desire to be seen, unpretentious charm is at premium. That's why establishments such as Ben's, Old Glory, and Lindy's Red Lion are such stupendous bastions of reality. All are fairly hole-in-the-wall-ish, all have excellent food at a price affordable even after the taxi zone hikes, and all have a staff that generally appreciates the fact that reservations and martinis are about as wholesome and friendly as a dominatrix tax collector in April.

It is with that thought that I present to you two additional D.C. haunts that emit the sweet smell of Bar-B-Q with a conviction Johnny Cochran would be proud of. Chinatown's Capital Q, and Glover Park's Rocklands are two cramped, aroma filled hovels that offer the promise of cowboy/backyard warrior nirvana. For those of you true barbecue enthusiasts I will concede that a side by side comparison is not wholly fair; Rocklands is technically Southern/Memphis style BBQ while Capital Q is Texas. Regardless, they both serve "dead things cooked good"* smothered in a tomato-vinegar based sauce, and of all the chefs I am acquainted with the singular person who would raise a furrowed brow had I not included that disclaimer is a college chum who worked summers at an eastern Tennessee rib shack...snob.

Capital Q has been fortunate in its urban positioning, the virtual heart of the once-dilapidated, now gentrified (read:where have all the Chinese gone/zhong-guo men zai nar?) "China Block". There could, and shall be an entire diatribe on the metamorphosis of yet another yuppie revitalization in a derelict section of D.C., so I shall limit my rant and write Capital Q's location off as either grand luck or sheer clairvoyance. Much has been written about the Q as "the best Texas-style barbecue in town"(Washingtonian), it has even won wide praise from true BBQ aficionados:

"Capital Q is a home-away-from-home for lost Texans. It is one of the few places in D.C. where you can wear boots and jeans, get a great meal, and even use Texas talk, like `howdy' and `fixin'."

This insight from Rep. Kay Granger (R-Ft Worth) leaves me wondering; is this a selling point? I too am a D.C. transplant, and while I do feel the occasional diasporic twinge in the form of longing for a cheesesteak or truly enraged Eagles fan, I never find myself waxing sentimental over the mispronunciation of words like water (wooder), can (keaan), or any other form of Rocky Balboa patois. But to each his own I suppose. My most recent personal experience at Q was tainted by the disproportion of fat versus meat on my brisket, the soggy bun and flavorless potato salad. The sweet tea, which is one of my favorite reasons the South did not successfully secede, was good. On previous visits I was duly impressed by the pulled chicken and "Texas Caviar", a black-eyed pea and jalenpeno laden cornbread. Hit or miss is an excellent review for a BBQ place in DimSum-ville.

Next we travel up-town, no metro but if you can tough it out on the 30 bus line you're in for a treat. Glover Park has many small gems and one of them is my beloved favorite BBQ palace. Rocklands BBQ serves up huge meals, fantastic sandwiches, and scrumptious desserts for mere shekels. A pulled pork sandwich to fill you will cost $3.98. Homemade chocolate chip cookies, apple pie and never-ending lemonade are all reasons to brush off the peanut shells and sit at a stool. Precious real-estate during busy times. I have eaten everything on the Rocklands menu and everything is fantastic. Not fatty, not too greasy, but perfectly tender, smoke infused meat, chicken, and fish. They have an 8-minute promise, and they live up to it. They also make you wait because its fresh, unlike Capital Q which goes for the lunch-lady approach of mass produce and pull together later.

Try both, love Rocklands!

*'Dead Things Cooked Good' is Rocklands BBQ t-shirt logo